Dasher Days: Day 13 - Just the Tip

 

Day 13: Just the Tip

    So it's been almost two weeks here and it has actually been your normal every day dashing. To be honest, it's a lot more laid back than I remember and I am sort of regretting it at this point. Aside from the occasional crazy detour that Google Maps likes to take me on and the semi-occasional entertaining front stoop it's really just a repetitive wheel of "Arrive here", and "Confirm this", finishing with "Leave at the door". 

    However, today ... well, today was just a day. You see, there is this absolute cosmic justice at play here ladies and gentlemen. Whether you believe in God, or fate, the universe, or a flying spaghetti monsters, it really doesn't matter in this instance because whatever you decide to call IT . . . it served some justice today and what do you know, it ordered the serving through Door Dash! The thing is, and this is just to give everyone here an equal understanding of Door Dash from us on the Dasher's side, and that is that, man ... those tips mean a LOT. Yeah, there is the base pay of $2.50 - $4.50 (on average), and as Dash likes to advertise to it's customers that is all that is absolutely required so that we, the drivers, are covered on gas money and such. Break that down one second. If I'm driving 2.5 miles from where I'm at when I get the order, to the food location, and then 2.5 miles to the customer destination then that's only 5 miles. If you've ever done this job then you know that $2.50 is worth that small distance, if nothing else than just to not get a lowered percentage on your "Dasher Rating", but even then . . . with no tip you just don't feel appreciated at all. You feel used, taken advantage of, makes you want to leave a note or confront the person and just ask "why ... why could you not spare just one or two extra little dollars to show the appreciation". But you don't, because you're better . . . and besides, most of the time it winds up being some little kid or quick in the head teen that got a hold of his parents phone or debit card and decided to order a little food without their parents to be there and give them the good common sense . . . up the head if necessary . . . to properly your driver. 

    Well, well, well . . . today WAS THE DAY . . . ladies and gentlemen! It was a pretty average day so far, had made about $30 in 2 hours or so and was enjoying a day with low traffic. I just dropped off a Wendy's order to a nice little neighborhood and there was a school bus just letting out to the right of me. They were middle schoolers but, only a detail important for what's to come. Walking back to my car I noticed some of the kids pointing to me and laughing, no doubt at my Pug labeled goggles I was using in lieu of my missing sunglasses, and then I heard a *Ping*. Looking down at my phone I already knew what to expect, or so I thought. 

    "$26.50 guaranteed" . . . I saw it and in a split second I just bellowed out "holy shit"! With that I looked over at the kids and noticed they suddenly weren't laughing at me anymore but more staring at me puzzled. Poor kids, I didn't mean to ruin their fun. But man, it was time to make some money!!! Well, I went to the food location and picked up what I thought would be a huge order only to find that it was something I could hold with just two fingers. Elated I may have bent, I say again ... I may have BENT ... some rules of the road in order to give some extra platinum gold level customer service for this size of a tip and I was going to make sure that the customer was getting their food faster than they ever thought. Once I arrived near the residence I already noticed something strange, something no Dasher really likes seeing. The customer was waiting for me in the drive-way. Yeah, that's rarely a good sign for us. People that use Door Dash aren't going to do that and then go through the trouble of standing outside, in any element, waiting for us unless it's for a special reason. Didn't take a lot to figure why this customer may be waiting for me, I was just curious about how it would go.

    "Hey, excuse me ... yeah, yeah I um, I'm so sorry this is so embarrassing but um, I seemed to have given you a pretty big tip", said my customer.
    "Yeah, was an "OH SHIT" tip for sure", I replied. "And I mean that, I actually said that out loud in front of a school bus on accident so, thank you for that". We both got a forced laugh from that, about as uncomfortable as the incident thus far.
    "Wow, really . . . well, I wish it had never happened. You see I um, I actually kind of accidentally gave you more than I meant to with that tip", he said.
    "Huh, yeah ...", I replied with food in hand. As I had suspected when I first saw him, standing as awkward as a scarecrow in a field of sand there in the middle of the entrance of his driveway, he was really wanting to talk about that mega millions tip I'd received. Knowing how crazy, or unbalanced, uncooperative, and unpredictable humans are I just figured I'd shut up and let him "worry-talk" while I just bull-doze through the actions of my work here and get it over with. Simply set down the food, signify that I handed it to the customer in person instead of leaving it on the step with a photo since he decided to grace me with his presence and make my job easy, and then wish him my condolences on his money and bid him a good day.
    "You see I um, I actually meant to give you a $2.50 tip and I just, I wasn't paying any attention whatsoever, but after I sent the tip I saw what I did. I don't know if I can do anything with Door Dash but I thought you might know something", he explained.
    "Know something like what", I asked, truly curious about his meaning behind this. Wanting to know if he had keen logic behind his inquiry, or entertaining idiocy ...
    "Well, are you able to give some of it back", he asked, displaying to start to his entertaining idiocy. "What I mean is, are you able to go in and give me back some of the tip, like correct it to what I wanted it to be. I mean, $26 is way too much for a tip here, you know."
    "Oh yeah, no doubt there man, that's why I said "Oh Shit" and all, you know", I said while I finished my work on the phone thereby guaranteeing my job here officially done. "Unfortunately man I'll be honest, I've never come across this problem and I wouldn't know how to fix it. I'm pretty sure you just have to go through the Dash customer service". 
    "Come on man", he replied, just dripping with sarcasm at this point already, "we both know that they're going to say that they can't help and that you're probably the only one that can make this right".
    "Right, what do you mean, right", I asked with a more stern and confrontational tone now. "I mean, it's not like I'm going to reach into my wallet right now and give you a $20 for your mistake man. I'm not going to go to the nearest ATM and get you a $20. So, I mean", snickering with my own brand of sarcasm, "I don't know what you're really wanting here my dude". 
    "CashApp, how about CashApp", he replied with a sudden slate of seriousness in his voice and look. "I can give you my CashApp info and you can send me $24, you keep the $2.50 that I meant to send you."
    "Man, look, I'm sorry this happened but you HAVE to go through Dash App, and that's for my protection", I replied as I began chuckling and opening my RAV4's door. "You're not the first person to ask me to transact financially outside of the Dash App but I won't because this way they keep 100% track of everything you and I do with money."
    "Oh, ok ... ok then. Um, well then, I'll have to um, I'll have to report this ok", he said while picking up his bag of food.    
    "Hang on, should I stay here", I asked. "Like, are you talking about police reporting, or..."
    "No, no ... just Dash. I'll have to report you to Dash, or report this to Dash", he replied, pulling out his phone and smiling a non-smile.
    "Ok, yeah well you do what you have to do sir. Again, I'm sorry this happened. You have a good night and enjoy your dash" I replied, knowing full well that there was nothing to report and that he was right from earlier . . . he had no leg to stand on!

    And THAT ... ladies and gentlemen, is what you call JUSTICE!!! All of your kids who order tons of food from a dozen miles out and offer no tip, just giving base pay at $3.50 or so, or you lazy pieces of shit who don't want to go out and get your own fast food and claim that base pay is pay enough, this kind of action is just the kind of thing that comes along and makes me smile! I just wish that it could happen once in a while to each and every single base payer out there.